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Choked

I still cry to God 
about it
about you
about what happened 
as I couldn’t explain it to anyone else

I still pray, endlessly
hoping all thoughts 
that once crawled inside your mind
no longer there

yet I know you’re fine
the thoughts were only a way 
for you to speak up
the loneliness inside
the thoughts were only words
to let the crowd jumped into the ocean
and helped you to swim over
your deepest fear; 
the dejection
the seclusion
the desolation 

a thing for sure
you hang onto my limb
yours weigh fractured it
choking off all joy
and as just life began to clear
I gasp aloud at the realization
you're not here
not anymore
as you found 
another shoulder to lean on

and in choked desolation, I watched you leave



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